I Am Afraid
by Bookworm1017
Summary: Blaine has never been one to trust people. Kurt is beginning to wonder why. Will Blaine trust Kurt with the truth or will he continue to be closed off. Klaine. One-Shot.


No one knew why, but Blaine was never a very trusting person. He never got very close to any of the Warblers. The few that did know him assumed he was just badly affected by the bullying at his old school. Maybe that was part of the reason, but Blaine knew the main reason he did not let people in. He swore he would never tell anyone. He promised himself he would never let himself get that close to someone. He would not get closed to anyone enough to get hurt. He was truly afraid to be loved.

Then he met Kurt Hummel…

Kurt and Blaine had been dating for almost a year now. Kurt was ecstatic that Blaine had finally come to McKinley and joined New Directions. There was something off though. Kurt and Blaine had become closer than ever, but it seemed to Kurt that Blaine was holding back. It really hurt Kurt to think that Blaine did not care for him as much as Kurt cared for Blaine. He decided he was going to figure out what was wrong.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked from the bed where he was watching Blaine tune his guitar. It was Friday evening and Burt had agreed to let Kurt spend the night at Blaine's, as long as there was no "Funny business" which had made both Kurt and Blaine blush deeply, nod, and run to the car before further embarrassment ensued.

"Yes, Kurt," Blaine said, his eyebrows furrowing as the string made and awful noise.

"Do I bore you?" Kurt asked, biting his lower lip nervously. This made Blaine look up, eyes wide, all thoughts on his guitar lost. He took one look at Kurt's timid form and his heart melted.

"Of course not! What on earth would make you think that?" Blaine asked as he pulled his guitar strap over his head and set it back in its case.

"Well… You know what? Never mind it's stupid," said Kurt with a sad look in his eyes. Blaine sat in front of Kurt on the bed and took Kurt's hands in his.

"Talk to me. If it's got you this upset, it's not stupid," said Blaine his voice filled with concern.

"Well, I love that we are so close and loving, but sometimes it doesn't feel like you are as close to me as I am to you. I don't even know if that makes sense. Sometimes it feels like you are holding back, and I don't know what I have done…"

"Kurt"

"Or said. Maybe I am boring or a bad kisser…"

"Kurt"

"Or my fashion sense annoys you or I'm ugly"

"KURT!" Blaine half yelled grabbing Kurt by the shoulders, "None of that is true! You haven't done or said anything wrong, you're not boring, you are an amazing kisser, I love you fashion sense, and you are beautiful." Blaine finished his speech. Kurt had a few stray tears running down his cheeks, which Blaine wiped away gently with his thumb.

"Then I'm just imagining you holding back?" Kurt asked. Blaine sighed. He had to tell Kurt. He had never told anyone. He had never trusted anyone enough to tell them, but Kurt was different.

"There is a reason I'm distant," Blaine said slowly. Kurt took a deep breathe slightly afraid of what Blaine was going to say. "But it's not just with you. I've always been distant. In fact I've never gotten as close to anyone as I have to you and it's kind of scary…" Blaine mumbled the last part. Kurt stayed silent, not sure what to say and not wanting to stop Blaine talking. Blaine fidgeted a bit trying to figure out the best way to tell Kurt.

"I'm not exactly sure where to start. I've written a song about it," Blaine said, eyes on the floor.

"If it makes you more comfortable, you can sing it," said Kurt, gently lifting Blaine's chin with two fingers. Blaine nodded moving to get his guitar. He already had tears in his eyes. He slung the guitar strap over his head and started plucking at the strings.

"I wrote this song about my parents." Kurt's eyebrows rose. Blaine had never spoken of his parents. Kurt was always curious as to why, but didn't want to ask. Blaine started strumming out chords with tears already making their way down his face.

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did_

_I will not let myself_

_Cause my heart so much misery_

_I will not break the way you did,_

_You fell so hard_

_I've learned the hard way_

_To never let it get that far_

_Because of you_

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

Blaine's voice wavered here and there, but he did not stop. Kurt had tears in his eyes; all he wanted to do was hold Blaine and make the pain go away.

_I lose my way_

_And it's not too long before you point it out_

_I cannot cry_

_Because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

_I'm forced to fake_

_A smile, a laugh every day of my life_

_My heart can't possibly break_

_When it wasn't even whole to start with_

_Because of you_

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

_I watched you die_

_I heard you cry every night in your sleep_

_I was so young_

_You should have known better than to lean on me_

_You never thought of anyone else_

_You just saw your pain_

_And now I cry in the middle of the night_

_For the same damn thing_

Blaine and Kurt were crying freely now for very different reasons. Blaine could remember everything his parents had put him through. Kurt was crying because he hated seeing the boy he loved in so much pain.

_Because of you_

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I try my hardest just to forget everything_

_Because of you_

_I don't know how to let anyone else in_

_Because of you_

_I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

_Because of you_

_Because of you_

Blaine finished, pulling his guitar off and covering his face in his hands as he sobbed. Kurt crawled to Blaine on the bed, and began to rub soothing circles into his back.

"When I was about eight, my parents started fighting all the time. They would have screaming matches in the middle of the night. I remember I used to hide in my closet crying. It was the only place I couldn't hear them very well," Blaine's shoulders shook with sobs. Kurt pulled Blaine into his lap and rocked him gently.

"My brother never noticed. He was always out partying with his friends all hours of the night. When he would come home I would try to talk to him about Mom and Dad. He would normally just make fun of me for being a baby and push me back into my room. When I was about nine, I found out Dad had been cheating on Mom for a while," This statement caused more sobs to take over Blaine's body as Kurt held him. Kurt had tears streaming down his face.

"The fighting just got worse and worse. My brother moved out. He was sixteen. It caused my parents to fight even more. My mom blamed my dad. My dad left when I was ten. Didn't even say good-bye. I haven't heard from him since. That's why my mom shuts herself in her room down the hall. She never really comes out," Kurt's eyes widened. He had assumed his parents just worked an awful lot. He had no idea Blaine's dad just wasn't there, and that his mom was always in the house just didn't show herself.

Blaine cried in Kurt's arms for a long time. Kurt held him whispering soft soothing phrases in Blaine's ear. Finally, Blaine pulled away brushing the tears off of his face.

"I guess they kind of made me afraid of love," Blaine chuckled darkly.

"Blaine, honey, you know I would never ever hurt you, and I will always be there for you. I get that your family has left scars, and we can take it as slow as you need. I'm so glad that you trust me enough to tell me that. I love you Blaine. I always will," Kurt said.

"I love you, too," Blaine smiled. Kurt pulled him in for a kiss.

Blaine knew Kurt loved him. He knew that his brother and his dad didn't, but as long as Kurt did, he would be alright.

* * *

A/N – Song: Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. I really hope you liked it. Please leave a review. Thank you all so much for reading.


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